Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry TBR1999 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(765): View more from Indiana

that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming

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(248): View more from Michigan

ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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(678): View more from Georgia

I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.

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(937): View more from Ohio

It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.

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(561): View more from Florida

6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time

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(586): View more from Michigan

I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.

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(646): View more from New York

I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!

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