once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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