I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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