Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize