Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
