Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
