Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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