It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
