Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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