Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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