Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
