Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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