White coat. Heels.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
