Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Randomize
