This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
