The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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