mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And then my night got REAL pukey
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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