Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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