hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
