he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize