My hand turned me down
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
