You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
