I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
