will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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