wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
