Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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