Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
