Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
