Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
