Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
