Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
