He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
