Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
