i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
