If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
