I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
