he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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