Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize