using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
