I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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