I think im going to throw up on grandma
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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