why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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