The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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