i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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