yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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