nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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