38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
