Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
