I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
