i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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