I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
