So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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