Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Randomize
