Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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