My nipple is on Facebook.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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