Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my being single is dangerous.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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