my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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