I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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