hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
