She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
