is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
