More tranny stories later!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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