I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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